Creatively I find myself writing a great deal these past four weeks. In part, I am trying to capture, as honestly as I can, these moments of life. On the other hand, I am also working through ideas and shifting narratives in my mind. Finding myself and presenting it as best I can.
A good deal of my work up to this point has been but a mere reflection of myself. I’ve created works that are ideas of places, ideas of things, and ideas of stories, all of which originate from myself, but that largely avoided telling my own narrative in specifics. Some of this is certainly due to being a quiet, reserved human, and some of it is not understanding what I truly want to be saying. And so I find myself writing.
Through my writing now, I’ve been exploring the idea of self-truth in narrative form. Ideas, places, feelings, emotions, and thoughts that are real to me. All without fictional elements to prop them up. The vast quantity of what I’ve written has read as nothing more exciting than a grocery list. But there have been a few, a small selection that really have come alive, and are of note. Sometimes I find myself with a nugget of an idea, and it’s so close to being good, but it lacks a single element. And I’m just not ready to muddy the waters and fictionalize that part of me.
I currently find myself exploring the idea of sharing these moments, places, or ideas that are me. Telling them as truthfully as I understand them to be, and presenting them as-is. I don’t want to pretend that what I have to say is important, or perhaps even smart, but they are me, and through sharing them, I share myself.
There have been moments when I’ve put something down, looked back upon it, and found myself entirely at a loss for what I was trying to convey. It happens and will continue to happen, and I am alright with that. So long as they are sincere and honest to me.
In regards to my visual work, I don’t know where that will be taking me, I am as curious as anyone. Some of the narrative that I have in my mind, the ideas I want to share, are difficult to convey visually. How does one depict the autumn colors when ones chosen medium is black and white? But with enough time, I will arrive at a fitting place.
Much of what I’ve created will never see the light of day, will never be shared. There are many reasons, as some of you who yourselves create may know. Some of what we create is meant as an exercise, mere practice of our arts and of our crafts. Steps towards mastery, steps towards presenting what it is, precisely as we want. Sometimes it’s simply too personal. And so I hope you find yourself in an exciting place as well — creatively speaking.
— J.A. Richard